30 days to changing my life - Day 4: Roller coaster day

It surprises me sometimes how previous life lessons learned come back to me and how I have matured over the years. Let me give you a couple of examples. We'll start with my run yesterday. In the past I would have judged how I did compared with my heyday as a runner when I was a young, thinner cross country runner in high school or biathlete in college. Such comparisons would have resulted in me being angry and disappointed with myself. Why? Because I wasn't as "good" as I once was. This would have led to self-doubt and wondering why I was bothering to run and then not running altogether. Excellent way to improve, huh?

Another example. I laid out a rather ambitious workout schedule for myself when I started this. I knew full well that it would be difficult to live up to and I am not. Oh well. It's not like I'm not working out. Again, in the past I probably would have bullied myself into shutting down because I wasn't "meeting expectations".

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you just let yourself be accepting. Not lowering your bar but just being able to realize that hey, I'm human, I'm imperfect, I'm doing my best.

I still get down on myself too easily. I did not work out today and it was hard to not feel like I was being a quitter. I know I did a smart thing. I know that the caliber of workout I do requires rest days for the body to recover and build muscle. That's why Crossfit has the built in days of rest. My calf is better but still hurts and the extra day will help. It was still tough to do nothing.

On the flipside my Mom came up and helped me out with the hallway. Tremendous progress. I told her how helpful it is for me right now. Sometimes I get feeling overwhelmed and just making progress is a great feeling. Once again, a life lesson lost but refound. The journey is as important as the destination.

I keep meaning to get a new battery for my camera. Get some before pictures of myself and the house. Alas, pictures have never been a big thing for me.

So to sum up, got some good stuff done (and fixed a surprsingly yummy salad from a cookbook I have called Fresh Food Fast: fennel, cabbage, apple and raisins tossed in lemon juice and EVOO. I was a little skeptical about raw fennel but it was good. I digress. Good stuff accomplished but fought the self-doubt and guilt.