Just because I didn't want you to inflict these upon your friends and loved ones (much like when my friend KB and I bought Transfixed Ingress a bunch of cassette tapes from a 4 for $5 bin at a music store (back when cassettes were still the main media music came on and they ran close to $10 a piece)) as gag gifts, I've been holding off on this until today. For your holiday enjoyment, here are a couple pieces of music that should never have been created.
First, I could see Axl Rose mellowing out a bit in his old age. Doesn't he look mellow in this picture?
Imagine this relaxed version of Axl chillin' with Slash. Maybe they've been drinking herbal tea and meditating. And Axl turns to Slash and says, "Hey, Slash, what do you say we go down in the basement and start playing the xylophone and vibraphone?". And Slash goes, "Yeah, man" and they start jamming.
Can't you see the two of them playing away, turning at one another and grinning, letting loose from all the sex and drugs that plagued Guns 'N' Roses and just getting back to their roots, enjoying the music for the music sake? No, me neither.
Then you have the reverse, a Swedish pop group, someone that could have been the next Abba maybe, but decided to go a more alternative route:
I don't know which I need to do first; stop my ears from bleeding or clean up the vomit.
But let's end with a dandy Christmas song. Wham! meets TRON.