The Russian Debutante's Handbook

I can't help it. I am drawn to foreign authors. I'm drawn to Russian stuff. I can't explain it. My ignorance of things Russian has led me to adding some Russian history books to the "to read" list just so I can appreciate some of it more. If I had to come up with a reason, maybe it is anti-hype. You'll note that the majority of what I read does not come from bestseller lists. I don't read Picoult or Patterson or the Kellermans or what have you. At least in this case Gary Shtayngart is an American even if he was born in Russia.

When looking for Russian literature, I found that people regarded Shtayngart's novel Absurdistan very highly. Naturally, our library system does not have it. So I went with this one. The titles could probably have been changed and nothing would be lost. The Russian Debutante's Handbook is funny, ridiculous, absurd even. It's an entertaining read but there are some problems which made my reading a single star.

The book is about Vladimir Girshkin, a Russian Jew in his mid-twenties who immigrated to the United States with his parents as a child. The book takes place in the 1990's and Girshkin is employed as a clerk in an organization that helps immigrants. His mother is a well-regarded financial wizard and his father is a doctor who pretty much engages in insurance fraud. So while his parents have embraced the American Way, Vlad is having problems.

Vlad's fortunes change figuratively and literally with two events. One, a Russian immigrant named Rybakov, who was almost made a citizen of the U.S. until he beat another foreigner with a loaf of bread during the induction ceremonies (he took the promise to defend the U.S. literally), comes to Vlad to seek help in getting his citizenship. Rybakov has been earning money from Social Security and lives quite well, much better than Vlad. When Vlad starts having financial difficulties, he requests money from Rybakov for "expenses". The second event is Vlad getting involved with his friend Baobab on another financial scheme. Vlad flies to Florida to meet with a fellow who needs Vlad to pose for his son at college interviews and in all likelihood is a drug dealer. The dealer tries to have sex with Vlad, Vlad panics, punches the dealer and flees and the dealer sets out to kill Vlad.

This is not quite the first half of the book.

After staging a pretend citizenship ceremony for Rybakov, Vlad flies back to Russia to meet with Rybakov's son, The Groundhog, who, surprise, heads up the Russian Mafia. Back home, Vlad is in his element. He helps the Groundhog set up businesses in Russia, legitimate and otherwise, to try and move Russia into a more capitalistic environment. Vlad begins dating a woman from the Midwest who seems like an innocent college girl from Ohio State but is also plotting to blow up an important Soviet landmark. Even back in the Russia, though, Vlad can't quite fit in. Whether conflicts with people because of being from the wrong part of Russia or because of his being Jewish, someone, somewhere, always seems to dislike Vlad because of his differences.

Ultimately, that's what the book is about - the difficulties of fitting in, especially for immigrants. It is an entertaining book that is full of bizarre twists. Too many, really, to adequately suspend belief. The route Shtayngart takes to get to them is often cumbersome and twisted. Shtayngart also relies a lot on stereotypes. The book seems farcical, and viewed in that light the stereotypes and the bizarre circumstances make sense. A novel that was more nuanced probably would have been better, especially given that this was a brute of a read at 460 pages.

I don't know that I enjoyed this enough to try and read Absurdistan any time soon (even if I could find a copy). While fun at times, the heavy satire and the long length would require me being in a different mindset than I find myself now.

Working on your best idea

Turning ambition into success is hard enough as it is. Whether you’re taking time to work on a project on the side or you’re launching a full-time business, it’s going to require peak personal investment. Not in terms of working crazy hours, but of dedication and perseverance.

Why would you want to pour so much of yourself into anything less than your best idea? Other ideas might seem more achievable or convenient, but if your heart and mind is elsewhere it’s all for naught.

Whatever excuse you can come up with for why you’re settling for less is probably not good enough. It’s intensely draining to give up on your dreams and you’ll not look kindly back at yourself for treading water.

Are you working on your best idea right now?

That was from David Heinemeier Hansson of 37Signals, a fellow whose attitude, ideas and work I admire. It came in the footsteps of this interview he gave:



I've been struggling a bit as of late. I, for all intent and purposes, wrapped up my third masters degree and my time has now been freed to pursue other interests. I tend to have too many and I get distracted and confused. I've always wanted to learn how to play a stringed instrument (beyond the few weeks I spent playing the string bass in high school). Was at a concert last week and got the cello bug again. Been reading a lot about Russia and so thought about trying to learn Russian again. April is Concept2's Marathon Challenge month. There is an appeal to preparing to row a marathon in a few weeks. I have been working out. Pursuing another martial art is always in the back of my head. I finally got the historic site recognition plaque that my town gives to houses in the historic district which has made me even more willing to get my house (and barn) fixed up. The boowahs are busy with choir, track and baseball. Still have to do my taxes. Still have baseball card packages to send out to people.

Those things (minus the boowahs activities) are the minor stuff. I need to find full-time post-summer employment now that I'm done school. Baseball projects are really important, one in particular. That's where my focus needs to and is going to be for a while.

I'll still be reading. The Robert Downey, Jr. project is probably done. Nothing in the card collecting world is captivating my interest right now. As far as this blog goes, it will likely be book reviews and hopefully some baseball for the next couple months until the next big life change.

My NCAA bracket

I've just about finished my NCAA bracket. It's a little late to submit to any of the contests online and stuff but I thought I'd show off my excellent prognosticating abilities.

Round 1:
Have to go with the #1 and 2 seeds to advance. I like the #3 seeds with the exception of Georgetown. I can't see them stopping the vaunted Ohio offense.
The four seeds look good but Vandy is a bit of a coin flip against Murray State. I call heads and am predicting that Murray State edges out Vanderbilt.
Temple is a 5 seed? They'll be upset by Cornell who looks like one of the most vaunted Ivy League teams in memory. I wouldn't be surprised to see Cornell advance at least another round. I'll take Cornell and the other five seeds.
The 6-11 games all look pretty evenly matched. I fully expect to see most, if not all, of these games to be decided by a basket or less. I'll take Tennessee and Xavier to advance and Washington and Old Dominion in upsets.
The seven seeds are all vulnerable. Brigham Young is the best of the lot and the only one I'll take. I'll take the 10 seed in the other games.
8-9 matchups are always pretty even. Go with Wake and Northern Iowa, Gonzaga and Cal.

Round 2:
I had all the 1 seeds moving on before but I feel an upset brewing here. I just have this sense that Northern Iowa can knock off the #1 overall, Kansas. I'll take the other #1 seeds to move on, though.
Likewise, I can see St. Mary's riding momentum and knocking off #2 Nova. I'll keep the remaining trio of two seeds.
That's eight of the matchups. Here's my picks for the other 8.
Michigan State over Maryland.
Tennessee squashes Ohio.
Murray State over Butler. No, wait, I'm taking Butler. Close game but Butler pulls it out.
As much as it pains me, Pitt always sucks in the tournament so we'll call the upset here rather than later.
Baylor and Purdue move on in the South.
Cornell and Washington upset in the East.

Sweet 16:
I think it's pretty obvious that Michigan State and Tennessee are the top teams remaining in the Midwest. They both move on to the Elite Eight.
I'm going to go bold in the West. Kansas State moves on by being the first team in the tournament to score 100 points in a game. Butler upsets #1 Syracuse.
No boldness in the East and South. Kentucky, Duke, West Virginia and Baylor will move on the elite eight.

All for now. I should have the rest of my bracket completed next Monday night or Tuesday morning.

Ten things I would Twitter today if I used Twitter but I don't so I'll put them here

1. Looking forward to the dinner dance tonight even though it makes me feel old and country-clubbish (it's actually a fundraiser).

2. I don't do statistics anymore but how can I be out of work when Amazon's prediction models choose based on artists sharing last names?

3. Just about done filling out my NCAA bracket. I should have the rest of the round two games completed after tonight.

4. I've never heard of half these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime.

5. No good at Twitter. More #2. Amazon recommended opera singer Andrew Kennedy for me because I like violinist Nigel Kennedy.

6. "Iron"ic is the fact that I am ironing what are supposed to be wrinkle-free pants.

7. My card collecting is smoldering but not dead. Going to try and make a last ditch Dollar Store run for 2008 UDX today.

8. Strongly considering getting tickets to see Stephen Strasburg pitch at Harrisburg. Along with half the state.

9. Need to be reading shorter books. I'm in the middle of a 400 pager and a 600 pager. Paging Curious George.

10. Inspired by Keith Law and Night Owl, I may put up some more lists next week.

Sharing some tunes

Seems a tad ridiculous to me that I recently discovered an album that has been out for a dozen years but I did and I love, love it. Firewater's The Ponzi Scheme.





They're still making music which makes my ignorance of them even more astounding to me. I'm not Joe Musicologist but when there's something I like, I'd think I'd come across it. I like their newer stuff, too, but The Ponzi Scheme is pretty much enjoyable from start to finish.

Also getting into Yeasayer a bit.

The Unnamed

When I was in sixth grade, I read the saddest book ever. I had to read it for school but found myself home sick soon after it was assigned. I read it cover to cover and when it was done I was just in tears. The book? Where the Red Fern Grows. In the book a young man has a pair of hunting dogs who he loves dearly and at the end of the book they die protecting him from a mountain lion. Once I got myself under reasonable control, I went over to my dog West, who was sitting in "his" chair just like he is in the picture below and hugged him and hugged him and hugged him. He seemed really baffled by the whole thing.


Joshua Ferris' book, The Unnamed, invoked similar reactions. Not the baffled part but the whole heartache of seeing a loved one suffer, losing them, not wanting to be apart from them. Even so far as spending time with someone important to you and then having that time end. It's a lesser heartache but one nonetheless.

The Unnamed starts off gripping you right from the beginning. You know something is up but you're not sure what. There's a couple, good-looking successful New Yorkers with a teenage daughter. The husband is a partner in a law firm, the wife a realtor. The marriage is solid, the husband loves his work and is compensated well for it. All seems pretty good.

The "dark secret", though, is that the husband suffers from this mysterious affliction which comes and goes. When it strikes, his legs start moving and he is compelled to walk. He never knows where and he has no control of it. He just walks and walks until fatigue sets in and he passes out. He managed to hide earlier attacks from his co-workers by playing off absences as him taking care of his wife during her fight with cancer. When the attacks come this time, they are more severe and it gradually affects his life in a big way.

No one is able to determine the cause of the affliction or even if it is physical or psychological. The majority of the first half of the book is spent with the couple trying to cope with it. Ferris does a great job of capturing the frustration. The husband, Tim, fights to be viewed as normal and lead his regular life despite the condition. The wife, Jane, forced to try to care for the one she loves but who is never there to be cared for because the affliction makes him roam far and wide has to also cope with raising the daughter, the temptation of other "healthy" men and her desire to have something resembling a normal life, too.

The disorder goes into remission around the middle of the book. The book could pretty well end there and it would be a nice story. Another bout arrives and it becomes apparent that this is a book without a happy ending. This with a hundred pages to go.

I think this is the best testament to how good a writer Ferris is. I enjoyed his first novel, Then We Came to the End. It was sort of Office Space or Dilbert in a much darker style. A one-star book which is never a bad thing for a first novel. This is two-star because despite it being apparent that no good can come from this, that there is a long way to go, you're caught up in it. You're compelled to finish it knowing that there is little hope.

It's a bit metaphoric in that sense. Life's tragedies are very much the same way. You may know that no good can come from something but you're bound to continue. Maybe because of that sense is why I kept going. I've known heartache but life goes on despite of it. Loved ones die, relationships end, tomorrow still comes. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope and maybe somewhere I held out hope that there was a glimmer for Tim and Jane (I thought it was apparent that there was none but maybe my subconscious felt otherwise).

Despite it not having a "happy" ending. It is a thought-provoking ending that makes you think about the body, mind and soul and how they are all intertwined.

This was an incredible book. Scoping out the reviews on Amazon, I see that, not surprisingly, people are not in agreement with me. Some seem put out by the lack of a happy ending. Some thought the book repetitive. I couldn't put it down and was willing to set aside a Michael Chabon book to finish it. I definitely recommend it.

Ask and ye shall receive - Mark wanted to see the baseball ad

Mark commented in my review of Angels Soar that he wanted to see the glove ad that came with the pair of books I bought. Well, here it is:



The picture isn't that great. The ad is too big to fit on my scanner and I have it hanging in the kitchen. Trying to get a photo with no glare and shadows was beyond me so this was the best I had. It pictures an ad for Ken-Wel's Lou Gehrig model glove.

Ken-Wel was a glove company from 1916 to 1960. Given that, my ad is almost certainly a replica. It's certainly not fifty years plus old. As a matter of fact, here is the same ad on eBay that is touted as a replica.

Rawlings and Spalding for all intent and purposes knocked Ken-Wel out of business. A few years ago, though, a company called Akadema has started selling replica Ken-Wel gloves. Right now it looks like they just have the Dazzy Vance model.

Despite it not being an original ad, it still is a neat thing to hang in the kitchen.

Hope you enjoyed it, Mark.